Uncle Muffert's butt crack activity

We Barleysworth's are a large family, and of the 89 of us what came from Pappy Dinger and his wife, Granny Burtle, 76 of us are men. Now this makes certain things difficult, like waiting in line to see the naked lady cards Granny gave my brother Dubert last year, but it makes other things better. Every tripod among us loves them James Bond movies, although we don't much like the talking. We are mostly in it for the killing, loving, and of course, the inventions that 'old white hair inventor' (we don't know his name) invents.

Recently, my super smart nephew, Noser (We call him that because he knows so much) gave uncle Muffert the best present I have ever seen for his birthday: terlit paper britches.

A little background: Uncle Muffert is known among the family, and the whole community, as a man who is quick to rage but quicker to a spontaneous dance. Once when he was younger, he distracted a fat guy long enough with his exhausting jig for his friend to throw a bucket of his own pee at the guy's head. Recently, though, Uncle Muffert has been unable to dance as he once had due to his leaky butt problems. This didn't stop him, mind you, but it did make the dances less meaningful. He used to do his interpretation of a dance he saw on that movie with them midgets on the sidewalk and it would really make us think, but now we all stare at the poo dribbling down his legs and pray that his flailing limbs don't fling none of it at us.

So Noser's invention/gift was a wonderful gift that transformed Uncle Muffert's life into what it once was. Now after he responds to a doorbell, telemarketer, or a policeman pulling him over with a fantastic dance, he just has to throw away his under britches and put on a new pair.

Thank you Noser, for giving him a reason to live again.

More to come.