Don't make me mad. This is something I tell my readers, family, random strangers on the street, and I have even tattooed it on my thighs, which are usually exposed. Yet I still encounter people who seem to try with everything in them to push my anger buttons. Why do these people enjoy seeing me erupt in rage? Is it my response of profuse vomiting followed by wild fighting with whoever may be nearby? Is it my less than perfect appearance? Is it my habit of singing songs that I write in my head? No, it is because these people are stupid.
One woman, I'll call her Stupid Stuperson, decided to wait until she was up in line at the hotdog cart yesterday to decide what she wanted. I have little to no patience for people who don't know what they want. Hotdogs haven't changed in 100 years. Same condiments, same bun, same hotdog. So when you take 3 seconds to cough and 4 seconds to hum to yourself while you decide what you want, I should be able to take 1 second to punch you in the mouth.
Readers, you know the facts of the story. You know why I reacted the way I did. I am sure that you would have done the same or would have high fived me had you seen me do it. Why did people react the way they did? There is no reason to yell at me and rush to Stupid Stuperson's help. The teeth I broke weren't even real teeth! They were dentures. Plus, she only fell because she let go of her cane when I hit her, which I attribute to her stupidness.
Needless to say, I may be seeing some of you in the near future as I finish my community service for "assaulting a 90 year old woman."
More to come.
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