Are you smarter than a Barleysworth?

I woke up in the fifth grade classroom of one of my kids last Tuesday afternoon and spent a half hour there before I was asked to leave (teachers always hate people with the farts). I learned more that half hour than I did in the 3 years I spent in 4th grade before I dropped out back in 2003. I was inspired to take this experience and challenge people to see if they know as much as the fifth graders, but I was told that this is already a show on TV with that cultural elitist, Jeff Foxworthy.

Realizing that there was a market in questions, I decided to make my own game show. I will ask people questions as they compete with a member of my family. This will show whether or not they are smarter than a Barleysworth. I will call it, appropriately, "Don't be an idiot, you moron."

Here are some sample questions. If you are going to try to compete, stop reading here, because I will use these questions on the first show once NBC agrees to air it (we are in legal debates right now(they don't like my methods of negotiating(I have kidnapped 14 children of NBC executives over the past week trying to get my show on the air))).

Questions:

1. What is 5+1?
A. 6
B. a million
C. two million
D. a bucket of kittens

2. What aisle in Wal Mart has terlit paper?
A. that one next to the hedge clippers
B. a million
C. two million
D. a bucket of fingernails

3. Who is uncle Muffert's sworn enemy
A. mailman Jeff
B. Kevin Spacey
C. German philosopher Max Stirner
D. a bucket of used Q-tips

4. Where do you shoot a bunny to kill it?
A. Left leg
B. Right ear
C. its head
D. a bucket of toast crumbs

5. What time does the sun set?
A. noon
B. at sunset
C. first thing in the morning
D. a bucket of Grampa Dinger's anti-racist pills

6. Who invented beer pudding?
A. Billy Mays
B. Local Indian Chief yells like dying yak
C. Cousin Noser
D. a bucket of frozen used tissues

7. How many times do you have to knee a goat in the head to get it to stop eating your socks?
A. 14
B. 8
C. 22
D. a bucket of armpit hair dandruff

Let's see how you did.
Answers:
1. A
2. A
3. C
4. C
5. B
6. C
7. A

I will let you know when NBC agrees to air it.

More to come.